You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I touched a dick in church today
All the doctor said was why
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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