A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
should my penis look like a turkey
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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