This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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