Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize