eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
