I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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