what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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