Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
