All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
