just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
