Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
