Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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