Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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