I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
