I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
