You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Two words: blizzard sex
pray to the hookup gods
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
