You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize