SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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