So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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