I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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