dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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