I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
