I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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