At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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