I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
