There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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