Small penises have feelings too.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
