i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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