I need help removing her.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
