i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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