I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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