i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
sex in a hospital.. check
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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