Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Your cock deserves a montage
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
