Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Pants are for mortals
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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