hotel room ftw
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
