Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she woke up with a sticky ear
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
