so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
