what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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