Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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