we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
