You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
