Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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