i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
