Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
