Sry I called you an 8
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
