just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize