Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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