thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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