i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
