how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
