Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
