hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
