that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
