When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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