I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
