just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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