Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
