Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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