In the future we'll all be gay
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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