He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
