where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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