So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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